How many of us remember the loveable Winnie the Pooh characters of our childhood? Within the forest community of the Hundred Acre Wood, Winnie the Pooh and his friends navigate through everyday problems of life. As a group, they experience many wonderful adventures, conflicts and crises. Each of these forest friends are unique and characterized by specific traits – some desirable and some not so desirable. These traits become more or less useful as the characters engage with one another in problem solving adventures within the Hundred-Acre Wood. Most of us can identify with at least one of the Winnie the Pooh friends – we can see them as a projection of ourselves and others that we encounter in our own social circles.
Who do you identify with? As we reflect on these characters, we find that we identify with some more than others. Maybe we see ourselves like Tigger who is exuberant, optimistic and full of fun, Kanga who is even tempered, nurturing and kind, or Roo who is energetic, childlike and of good cheer. These positive qualities exibited by these characters help attract others to us. On the flip side, we may identify with some of Winnie’s forest friends who struggle with not so positive traits. Rabbit, although industrious, is characterized by his irritability; and Owl, although wise is scatterbrained. Piglet is kind yet timid and fearful. And lest we forget, there is Eeyore who is forever glum, self-focused, and pessimistic. Each of us exhibit some combination of these different traits. Winnie the Pooh is an example of what we might consider a good balance of characteristics. Pooh is kind, friendly, loyal, optimistic, courageous, and steady during times of difficultly – a natural leader and well-liked by all.
Emotional Intelligence. Those traits that we find most admirable and helpful in the Winnie the Pooh characters are the same ones that we might find helpful as we navigate interpersonal relationships in the real world. These traits are those most often associated with emotional intelligence – or the tendency to perceive, understand, regulate and harness emotions adaptively in the self and in others. Individuals with high emotional intelligence are more likely to be successful in all aspects of life including work, social and interpersonal relationships (Goleman, 1995).
As we can see through the lives of the characters in the Hundred-Acre Wood, those who exhibited positive emotional traits were more successful in their friendships than those who exhibited negative emotional traits. Research indicates that successful personal relationships greatly enhance life satisfaction and improve all aspects of daily living, including physical and mental health, work satisfaction and positive connections with others. And, because there is a strong correlation between high emotional intelligence and relationship satisfaction, it is important to learn how to develop skills which will lead us to act in more emotionally intelligent ways.
How do we become more emotionally intelligent? The most important step is to become self-aware. We must take stock of what traits help or hurt us as we engage with others in our social network. We might ask ourselves – do I tend to be more like a Tigger or an Eeyore who tend to be on the opposite ends of the emotional spectrum? If you answered Eeyore, remember that as a rule, people are not attracted to negativity and will look for ways to avoid or insulate themselves from you. If you recognize this tendency in yourself, you might consider taking steps to change your negativity. People who act happier, friendlier, and more energetic will not only help others feel more upbeat, but themselves as well.
If you identify more as a Tigger, be grateful for this positive trait and let your happiness naturally rub off on others. As you attempt to spread sunshine to others, you might want to remember to keep your expectations in check -- you cannot make someone be happy. All you can do is be an influencer.
As we look back at the characters in the Hundred-Acre Wood, we can see how their different traits allowed them to be more or less successful as they integrated as a group. And, whether you identify more as a Tigger, an Eeyore, or any other of Winne's forest friends, each of us have the ability to change behavior and create the relationships we desire. As we become more self-aware, we are better able to identify those traits that will help us be more emotional intelligent, make changes, and find greater relationship satisfaction.
References:
Goleman, D. (1995).
Emotional Intelligence, New York, NY, England: Bantam Books, Inc.
